Brady "I want a wife" satire response

The thesis is not explicitly stated. It is implied to be that a wife does so much for her husband, and often is not repaid or thanked. She thinks that is ridiculous and unfair to the wife.

To reemphasize her original statement that she wants a wife. And to poke fun at the idea that a wife should be the way she describes.

I believe that Brady knows that that kind of spouse does not exist, and shouldn’t exist. Brady implies through sarcasm that the idea is ludicrous.

Brady defines a wife as someone who lives to serve her husband and make his life easy so he can do whatever. The wife takes on all the responsibilities of marriage and having a family. This idea is unrealistic and dumb. A marriage and family comes with responsibilities that must be shared by both parents. Brady wants readers to realize how ridiculous the idea is, and make sure they don’t think this way.

I admire the direct and forward nature of the piece. I enjoyed the use of sarcasm and satire to make such an effective statement. From the start you begin to see how unfair this would be to any wife. Essentially the wife handles everything and the husband reaps the benefits. It makes you think how you view the role of a wife and it causes you to adjust your views.  The piece does what was intended.

thurber satire q's

The little girl and the wolf:

This one was very entertaining and surprising, it was based on little red riding hood, but instead of the usual ending, the girl shot the wolf dead.

The Bear:

The bear was interesting because the bear was an alcoholic, but he changed his ways and reformed his life. But before and after his changes, he would still destroy the house. The story wasn’t based on any existing fairy tale

fairy tale analysis

The boys and the frogs: boys throw rocks at frogs, what we do for fun sometimes hurts others.

The Camel and the Arab: the camel asked a dumb question. Some questions are best not asked

The dogs and the hides: dogs try to drink river, don’t try impossible things.

The fisher: a fisher played his bagpipes to catch fish, do what your master asks

The hare and the hound: a hound chases a hare but gives up, incentive spurs effort

The trumpeter taken prisoner: a trumpeter is put to death, words may be deeds

The sick stag: a stag died, bad friends cause harm

The wind and the sun: the wind and sun competed to get a mans cloak off, kindness is better then severity

The young thief and his mother: a mother is to blame for her son’s thievery: train up a child how you want him to go

The one-eyed doe: a doe was blind in one eye so she couldn’t see the hunters coming, you cannot escape fate.

The three little pigs:  Three pigs built three houses. One of hay, one of sticks, one of bricks. A hungry wolf tried to destroy the pigs homes so he could eat them. He blew down both the stick, and hay houses, but failed to blow the bricks down.

Little red riding hood: a little girl clothed in a red cloak was headed to see her grandmother.  Along the way she encountered a wolf. The wolf ate her grandmother and dressed up to fool the girl. The girl discovered the wolfs trick and the wolf was killed.

satrical fairy tale

"How did I manage to get trapped in this stupid cage" I thought. "I don't remembeer anything"

The power of the resting lion was terrifying, but I couldn't pull myself away.  He wasn't attacking me. It seemed like he was at piece and just fine with my presence.  I guess he knew I was no threat to him.

I saw a man spalshing in the water. "Help!" he cried. I swam as quick as I could to save him. I couldn't afford to have his death on my hands. This would ruin my reputation.

If I could just practice for a few more hours. I would definitely be good enough for the audition. As much as I wanted to help the ants work and gather food, I needed to keep practicing.  This could be my big break. My shot at playing fiddle on the largest stages around the world. My dream was Carnegie hall by the end of next year. Some of my friends said I was crazy, that I would never get a big break.  But I was determined to prove them wrong,. Just a few more hours. speed this section up, slow this down, play this phrase pensicatto.  Just a couple dynamic chages here and there and it was perfect. I practiced for what didn't seem like all that long, I looked down at my watch. "Holy crap!!" it's been six hours. I needed to go help the ants finish up so I could get atleast something to eat. I hopped as fast as I could back to the settlement to try to help out, but they had finished by the time I arrived.  I was going to have to talk to the cheif ant to beg for some food.  I went and cried "Please Cheif, can you spare me just a little food? I promise I'll work extra hard tomorrow."  "Why should we give you anything?" he responded.  "You've done nothing but fool around with your fiddle all day."  "But cheif, you know I have my audition tomorrow evening. I had to put the finishing touches on my piece. This could really be my shot."  The cheif yelled back " No work, no food!! Get your head out of the clouds grasshopper. Life isn't a fairy tale!"

I couldn't wait to move out of my step-mothers house, she was so mean to me all the time.  I tried to get my dad to help but he was just as afraid of her as I was.  This was not a healthy marriage at all. they needed some serious couseling, and quick!

I skipped through the forest humming a cheerful tune. I couldn't wait to see Grandma! It had been so long since I went to her house.  I even baked her a batch of cookies.  But I couldn't help but feel like I was being watched.

"Who is this girl?" thought I, the Mad Hatter. A puzzled look arose upon my face.  She had shown up expectedly and now she wants to dine with us, how rude!

"All Hail the mighty Gigantor!" Who are they? What are they, and why are they so small? Where was I and how did I get here?

Princess or not, there was absolutly no way anyone could feel a pea through all of those mattresses. thats just absurd.

As much as I enjoyed the work that the Dwarves got done around the house, There was never any privacy.  How was I supposed to bring any guys over.   

this I believe essay response

To be the best humans we can be:
-I agree with what the essay discusses. The writer admits his faults and realizes that perfection is unrealistic. But he knows that he must strive to be the best father, husband, friend, and person he can be.
Lingering at the doors:
-This essay shows a perspective that kids don't often see. It shows how a parent worries about their children as they grow up. They worry about the future, when they're kids can drive and they start to lose control of them. A father veiws himself as the sherrif of his house. prtecting his children, but as they grow he can't hold on to them.
I could be wrong: 
-This essay comes from a man who is gay and a pastor. He has opened his mind to the uncertainty of life. He knows that if you remain stuck in your ways that its is hard to truely explore yourself.  You must be humble and question everything, because if you don't you will never find what you think is truth.

Once Upon a time, I was surfing the intent using my brand new mouse and squishy new mouse pad. I was checking out Facebook.  A friend of mine had posted some new pictures of me from last Friday night.  I had to look at them to make sure none of them made me look bad.  I couldn’t have pictures of me looking all mousey all over the internet.  It was about 2:00 PM and I hadn’t eaten lunch yet, I went down to the kitchen and fixed my self a bowl of jello that my mom made the other day.  It was cool and squishy.  I’ve never really liked jello. The texture always grossed me out.  But there wasn’t any other food to eat and I didn’t have any money to go buy food.  As I was forcing myself to eat the slimy jello, a mouse ran across the kitchen floor.  I panicked.  I didn’t know what to do. 

This mouse immediately ran outside, dodging the jello which I had dropped rather exuberantly. As soon as he got out though, an eagle swooped out of nowhere and picked up the mouse, bringing it to its nest and the mouse’s certain demise. The mouse wasn’t going to take this though, and quickly knawed at the talons of the eagle. When the eagle dropped the mouse due to the shear pain that was inflicted, it was obviously enraged. It swooped down to make short work of this mouse, but the mouse had a plan. It had taken some of the jello that I had dropped and quickly molded it into a mouse replica. The eagle swooped and hit the mouse dummy, hoping to destroy the mouse himself, but alas, he hit a dummy. The eagle was knocked out and sprawled on the ground, and the mouse did a little mouse dance due to how exuberant he was.

The mouse frantically run to his house and grabs some high explosives and runs back to the eagle. He places the C-4 on the eagle’s chest and sets it off. A giant explosion engulfs the sky as the eagle became million pieces instead of one as a whole. As the mouse cheered for it’s victory, a cowboy grabbed the mouse by its tail and put it in a little cage. In the cage there were sands with ocean water. The mouse was living in it’s own heaven.

The cowboy was enraged by the actions of the both the mouse and the eagle he could believe himself and what he had just witnessed. So he dragged him self to the his friends house down the road, and knocked on burgundy red door and shouted “Hellloooo” “Billy you home?” there was no reply. And then he remembered Billy was in Spain! Rats! He thought now who will make me a pineapple mojito ?

The Ice Rink

The Ice Rink

Ice hockey was a big part of my life for 9 years.  I would spend countless hours every week practicing or playing in games.  I’ve had some great memories on the Ice. I remember waking up early on Saturday mornings to go to the rink for a game. It wasn’t always easy but it was fun.

Beep, beep, beep, beep!! My alarm went of at 6:30 AM. I thought to myself, it’s a weekend, can’t I just sleep a little longer.  But I knew I had to get up because I had to get to the game.  I pulled myself out of bed and went downstairs. I ate something small to give me a boost of energy early in the morning. I went back upstairs to my closet and grabbed my hockey bag and my sticks.  It all had to weigh at least 30 pounds, and it was even worse since it was so early.  I lugged my stuff out to the car and threw it in the trunk.  By this time my dad had woken up.  We piled into the car and drove to the rink.  He dropped me off about 30 minutes before the game.  I walked into the locker room and sat down on the bench.  I was too tired to start getting ready. I sat in a daze for a good five minutes while my teammates started to arrive. As people showed up, the energy picked up.  I finally started to get ready; I put on all my equipment. My shin pads, my socks, my pants, my skates, my shoulder pads, my elbow pads, my jersey, and finally my helmet and gloves.  As every hockey player knows, it takes a lot of time to get ready to play.  Our coach walked in and gave us his usual pre-game speech.  He told us to play hard, and leave it all on the ice. He knew just as well as we did that this game would be a cake walk.  We were one of the top teams in the league and had beat the other team several times before.  When it was time, we got up and walk out to the ice.  When we got on we skated around our half of the ice for a bit to warm up.  I was the team captain so it was my responsibility to lead warm ups.  We started with some cross ice sprits to get our legs working.  Then the coach put out the pucks and we started our passing drill.  It went just as it always did. After warm ups we gathered around the net and I gave a quick motivational speech.  Basically repeating what our coach said in the locker room. I liked being our team’s captain but I never was good at the speeches and leading.  I guess they looked up to me because I was one the oldest players.  After my quick speech we skated to the bench and the coach gave us the starting line.  I was up first at left wing.  It was no surprise; I usually ended up on the first line.  We lined up at center ice for the puck drop. I was usually one of the dirtier players one the ice, and this game was no different. At the drop I kicked the back of the skate of the player across from me. This knocked him a little off balance.  I had to let them know not to mess with me right off the bat.  For me it was important to come out strong on my first few shifts.  I was the team’s big hitter. Since I was bigger then most of the guys on the ice it wasn’t too hard.  The game went as expected. We basically controlled the game from the start.  We got an early goal and held our lead for most of the game.  Our goalie was really good and kept us in games even if the rest of the team was doing poorly.  We held a one to zero lead through the second period. But in the third period the other team came out strong and got a goal.  The score was even and we were all exhausted.  We knew we would have to dig deep and score another goal.  We picked up our game at that point. Our passing go smoother and our plays flowed better. We started to get shot after shot and we were controlling their end of the ice.  But nothing was getting past this goalie. He was a big guy and got easily take up the net. Time was running out and we were sill tied.  But then when there were about three minutes left, we got another break. We passed the puck up the side of the ice and across to a player breaking through the middle. It was a one on one, just the defender and our guy. The offender swerve to the right and ripped a shot to the top corner. It went right past the defender and right over the shoulder of the goalie. We did it! We score a game winning goal.  But we couldn’t let down now, we still had a couple minutes to kill.  We fought to the very last second and pulled out a win. It was one of the most exciting games I had ever been a part of, and it was the last game I would play in.  It was the end of the season and I was going to be giving up hockey when it was over.  I loved hockey and I was fairly good at it, but I wanted to do more with theatre. Music and theatre are my passions and I had to give up hockey to pursue them.        

active sentence revisions

My friends came over, and we all piled into the car.

My friends came over, and one by one we packed tightly into the car like sardines.

Because it was Friday night, there were a lot of people waiting in line to get a table.

Because it was a Friday night, there were large crowds where ever we went. It was next to impossible to find a table.

Again, during our meal, my friends and I received strange looks from the others in the restaurant.

Again, during our meal, my friends and I got strange looks from the restaurant goers. They would walk past, confused, trying to determine if the baby was real or not. We looked too young to have kids already.